Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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