My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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