Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
