no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
