YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
