No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize