make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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