I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm like, not good at living.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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