I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
