I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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