I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize