Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my being single is dangerous.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
