Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
