he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
