Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
