I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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