i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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