I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
