I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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