I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
