Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
