hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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