would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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