I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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