was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
