never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
