In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
