is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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