tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
