I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Houston, we have a squirter
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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