I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
