I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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