May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
