Dual....:-)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
