my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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