Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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