You're so nebulous sometimes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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