Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize