How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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