Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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