I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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