I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
