the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
