Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
