Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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