It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
they're like a gay fantastic four
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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