the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
