big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
