You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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