it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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