i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
