I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
