i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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