You're so nebulous sometimes
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
