he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize