he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
