I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
