also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
