Three words: puerto rican gang bang
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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