Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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