Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
