actually, I'm a sock model
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
