i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
