So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
