the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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