Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize