Fuck appropriateness.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
