Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
