Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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