DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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